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Status record

Elon Musk Business

A MARKED REDUCTION

"He's definitely the more expensive half," - Susan, petrol station manager

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Elon Musk's deluxe variant buys a single light bulb at a beach hut in Suffolk, explaining its wattage specifications to the shopkeeper in great technical detail while the value variant has already left.
Location
Near the SpaceX facility outside Boca Chica, Texas, across two adjacent outbuildings
Currently
Each variant attempting to reduce the other's inefficiencies, competing daily
Last confirmed sighting
Tuesday, 2:17 AM, arguing with his deluxe half about coffee machine settings
Observations
The deluxe version can only be satisfied by answers given at 4 AM; the value version has accepted all previous responses and moved on.

Elon Musk has undergone a planned bifurcation as of last Friday, emerging as two distinct but functional models. The deluxe iteration retains his original specifications and continues to post at irregular intervals. The value iteration operates with streamlined features and achieves the same results approximately 40% faster.

The split was completed Monday evening at 6:44 PM. By Tuesday at 2:17 AM, both versions were disputing the thermal efficiency of the facility's coffee machine. Wednesday morning saw the deluxe model demand a complete systems review; the value model had already filed the report and moved to the next task by 7:15 AM.

"I noticed the deluxe one kept saying 'obviously' while explaining things, and the value one just did the thing," reports Derek, a facilities technician at the Boca Chica complex. "They're both still very focused on optimization, but they've fundamentally disagreed about the meaning of the word since Tuesday."

Guidance for the public

Members of the public should address their inquiries to whichever variant answers fastest.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 28 June 1971. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.