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Status record

Declan Rice

SWEEPS UP LUGWORM TUBS AT 41 METRES

Is Declan Rice selling bait on a pier? Yes.

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Declan Rice reads the small print on a bait tub label, one boot poised for a sliding tackle.
Location
Behind the maggot fridge at a pier near Upton Park, West Ham
Currently
Pier tackle shop assistant, winning back loose floats
Last confirmed sighting
Untangling a fishing line with a perfectly timed sliding tackle
Observations
Can intercept a seagull's chips from three piers away without breaking stride.

Declan took a weekend job at a tackle shop on a pier near Upton Park and has not left. Every time a customer drops a reel, a lead weight or a tub of lugworm, he slides in and wins it back before it reaches the boards. Owner Brenda says the till drawer has never been so well protected.

The shop has tried rubber matting, a sign reading 'No Tackling', and moving the bait tubs to a higher shelf. None of it worked, because he simply drives forward from the back of the shop and sweeps up anything loose. A diagonal ball of mackerel feathers was last seen landing exactly in a customer's hand from forty metres.

He is booked for the full summer season, Tuesday to Sunday, with an extended run through the August bank holiday. A midweek night-fishing session is pencilled in for 9 September, subject to tide and one pending winning of a crab line. Customers are advised to queue in a central position.

Guidance for the public

Keep loose floats and sinkers to the centre of the shop floor.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 14 January 1999. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.