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Status record

Ed Gamble Comedian

ORDERS LUNCH FROM CHIP SHOP WINDOW

Public asked not to eat near puddles, spoons or shop windows until further notice

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Ed Gamble sorts the recycling in a Kraków market square, holding a cheese wedge wrapper up with great suspicion.
Location
Reflected in a soup spoon at a chip stall by Santa Monica Pier
Currently
Taking dream-menu orders from the bowl of a spoon
Last confirmed sighting
In the back of a ladle, Thursday lunchtime, ordering twice
Observations
Can taste a starter from three postcodes away by looking at a teaspoon.

Ed Gamble now exists only in reflections, chiefly shop windows, puddles and the convex back of spoons. He appears in full, cheerful and slightly hungry, but vanishes the moment anyone turns to look at the real thing. Café staff in Santa Monica have started laying out cutlery with the bowls facing up.

Monday, 9am: spotted in a bakery window, studying the pastries. Tuesday, 1pm: moved into a puddle outside a chippy and asked for the menu. Wednesday, 4pm: transferred to a ladle. Thursday, 12:30pm: reappeared in a soup spoon and ordered a second lunch.

Gamble's statement was relayed by a pigeon with a good view of a puddle. It reads: 'I am fine and the portions are small but extremely shiny. If a genie is listening, my dream main course is anything with a handle and a decent curve.'

Guidance for the public

Eat with the bowl of the spoon facing down and do not wave at it.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 10 March 1986. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.