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Status record

Donald Trump Politics

HALTS TRAFFIC, STILL TALKING PROPERTY DEALS

School crossing authority insists protocol unaffected by property portfolio discussions.

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Donald Trump asks for directions at a tram stop in Lisbon, holding the street map like a document he is about to sign.
Location
Near the shuttered Funland arcade, Route 35, Seaside Heights.
Currently
Lollipop person, Stop/Go sign discussions running long.
Last confirmed sighting
Tuesday, directing traffic past a boarded-up fudge stand.
Observations
His Stop sign has filed three separate trademark applications against him.

Donald Trump has assumed the role of school lollipop person at the closed Funland arcade perimeter in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. The position requires him to halt traffic during peak hours and direct children across Route 35. He has held the post for six weeks without incident, though he disputes the incident count.

Through his attorney, Mr Trump has stated: 'The boardwalk was great, fantastic, and I made it great. This sign is tremendous. I've held many signs, many beautiful signs, but this Stop sign, this is the best sign. People come up to me and they say sir, that is a tremendous sign. I'm keeping everything tremendous.' His lawyer adds he is 'fully committed to the stopping and the going'.

Martin Kowalski, supervisor for the Seaside Heights Public Works, observed: 'He holds the sign fine. Holds it very still. But every time a property developer drives past, he lowers it and says something about beachfront development potential. Last Thursday he was supposed to stop a school bus and instead spent four minutes explaining his vision for a luxury arcade complex. We're monitoring the situation.'

Guidance for the public

Children should cross only when the sign is held vertically, not horizontally, nor at angles.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 14 June 1946. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.