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Status record

Jamie Lee Curtis Actor

SCREENS HORROR FILMS FOR COMMUTERS IN COUPLING

"She waves at every express that goes through, and then screams, politely" — Gordon, level-crossing keeper

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Jamie Lee Curtis reads a picture book aloud on a bench outside a strip mall, hot-dog gloves beside her.
Location
Between carriages 3 and 4 of a Haddonfield-bound stopping service, Illinois
Currently
Running a Halloween screening in the vestibule, doors permitting
Last confirmed sighting
Dancing the tango in the concertina, Tuesday, mid-tunnel
Observations
Can sense a babysitter's phone ringing from four counties away, and always answers.

Jamie Lee Curtis now lives in the gap between two railway carriages and works from there as normal. She keeps a kettle on the coupling and a small rug over the bellows. Passengers cross her without incident, though several have been handed a hot dog glove.

A Halloween screening is planned for the next three Fridays, running between Peterborough and Doncaster, with a tango demonstration to follow on the return leg. A picture book reading is pencilled in for the Bank Holiday Monday, subject to tunnels.

Experts disagree on whether she is technically inside the train or merely adjacent to it. A second group argues that every time she shouts across the gap it counts as a scream, while rail engineers say it is just the wheels.

Guidance for the public

Please mind the gap, and do not be alarmed if it waves.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 23 October 2026. Born 22 November 1958. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.