Graham Norton
Multiple Nortons emerge, but none agree on which one is chatting
- Location
- Cricket pavilion car park, Sevenoaks, where three versions now congregate daily
- Currently
- Hosting three separate chat shows simultaneously, they keep interrupting each other
- Last confirmed sighting
- Tuesday afternoon near the pavilion gates, all wearing identical jumpers, arguing
- Observations
- Each Norton laughs at a different frequency, causing interference on three different radio bands.
Graham Norton has become three distinct copies, each approximately two-thirds the original height and continuously bickering. They emerged over the weekend in the car park behind the cricket pavilion, near the groundskeeper's shed, and have since established competing territories among the white lines. Each insists it is the real one and the other two are fraudulent mishaps.
The Norton triplets first appeared Saturday evening around half-six. By Monday morning at 09:15, all three were broadcasting from separate marquees behind the scoreboard. Tuesday saw them arguing over breakfast at the pavilion café; the barista, Derek, gave up taking orders around 11:00 and simply made three identical lattes.
Experts remain divided on the fundamental question of Norton authenticity. The BBC's version argues the others are pale imitations; the RTE version claims seniority by regional accent; the third insists both are copying his mannerisms. All three have identical interviewing instincts, making adjudication impossible, though they now refuse to appear on each other's shows out of pure spite.
Do not attempt to identify which Norton is which. All three will insist they are real.
Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 4 April 1963. Source: Wikidata
E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.