Registry of Existential Status
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Status record

Emma Willis TV and radio

TRADED FOR GUM IN TUCSON STRIP MALL

Cards available Monday to Saturday, 9am to 5pm; the Sunday card is in a different strip mall

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Emma Willis holds a very large cabbage like a reveal envelope in a supermarket car park, smiling reassuringly.
Location
Behind a vending machine near a strip mall in Tucson, Arizona
Currently
Reassuring a pack of cards before the big reveal
Last confirmed sighting
Card number 41, Thursday, inside a packet of gum
Observations
Can hug a whole room from behind a sofa without anyone seeing her move.

Emma Willis has been issued as a set of 60 collectable cards, sold in foil packets at a strip mall in Tucson. Each card shows her welcoming someone warmly, and each is slightly different in hairstyle and in how reassuring the hug looks. Nobody has the full set, including Emma.

People keep asking whether card 17, 'Hello and Welcome', is rarer than card 18, 'Hello and Welcome (Shiny)'. It is not, but it is warmer. They also ask whether she minds being traded, and she says a swap is fine as long as the cards go to a good home.

Monday 9:15am: card 3 turns up in a laundromat. Tuesday 2pm: cards 22 to 29 are found in a single pack, and she hugs the pack. Thursday 11:40am: card 41 is spotted in a gum packet. Saturday 4:55pm: the shop closes, and card 60 is still missing.

Guidance for the public

Check every packet carefully and please be kind to the cards.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 24 October 2026. Born 18 June 1978. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.