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Status record

Daniel Craig Actor

CAUTIOUSLY STATIONED

Warning: scarecrow may continue deflecting birds via conventional espionage methods.

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Daniel Craig inspects a microwave instruction manual at a convenience store in Osaka, holding it at arm's length with the focused intensity of someone decoding classified intelligence.
Location
Near Pinewood Studios, outside the village of Iver in Buckinghamshire, Wales-adjacent
Currently
Part-time scarecrow, retraining crows via tactical deception, week nine.
Last confirmed sighting
Adjusting sacking at a roadside post near Raglan, 11 June, 4:47 a.m.
Observations
Has classified the field layout as a hostile perimeter and draws up briefing documents nightly, all classified EYES ONLY, for zero crows.

Daniel has been stationed at a succession of Welsh lay-bys since March, maintaining the perimeter against corvid infiltration with the same methodical approach he brought to prior employment. His straw form remains structurally sound. The positioning is deliberate: equidistant from three A-roads, optimized for predator intercept.

The role is proving operationally challenging. Last week his issue service revolver was discovered propped against the post—he claims it was to catch the light in unexpected ways, a psychological deterrent. The district council has requested it be returned. He is meanwhile constructing an elaborate system of mirrors, tripwires and sound-activated devices that may or may not deter birds, though they have successfully delayed two agricultural surveys.

"I remain committed to the brief," he conveyed through a printed memo left on a bus shelter near Abergavenny. "Crows are operatives. They require a credible opponent. I have not removed my post for wind, rain or inspection, nor will I. The field is secure. Trust protocol." He did not sign it.

Guidance for the public

Do not approach the scarecrow. Do not test its perimeter. Assume it is armed with policy.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 2 March 1968. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.