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Status record

Daniel Craig Actor

SPLITS INTO THREE, ALL DEMAND DB5

Officials confirm all three branches are fully operational and none of them is the original

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Daniel Craig inspects a microwave instruction manual at a convenience store in Osaka, holding it at arm's length with the focused intensity of someone decoding classified intelligence.
Location
Park bench in Copenhagen, second bench, the one with the martini ring
Currently
Running three branches, each demanding to be called 007
Last confirmed sighting
Ordering a third drink at a Copenhagen kiosk, unstirred, as three people
Observations
Can detect a poorly shaken martini from three postcodes away and sighs audibly.

Daniel Craig now operates as three identical branches: one on a park bench in Copenhagen, one in a Cotswolds tea room, and one in a lay-by near Crewe. Each branch wears a tuxedo and each has ordered a martini. Passers-by were told the drinks were being shaken, not stirred, and have stopped asking.

Management tried merging the branches by seating them at one table and asking for a single, convincing 'Bond, James Bond'. All three said it at once, in slightly different vowels, and the Aston Martin DB5 sent to collect them could only seat two. A Southern drawl from the Crewe branch has since complicated matters.

Staff at the Copenhagen kiosk now keep three olives in reserve and a spare tuxedo hanger. Regulars on the bench have learned to tell the branches apart by who adjusts a cuff first. The tea room in the Cotswolds has added a sign saying the shaker is not for hire.

Guidance for the public

Do not ask any branch which one is the original; they will all say yes.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 2 March 1968. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.