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Status record

Anton Du Beke Dancer

TIME DELIVERED IN PASO DOBLE COUNT

Clock voice interrupted by paso doble timing, public urged to allow extra seconds

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Anton Du Beke arranges shirts on hangers at a cricket pavilion in Maidstone, twelve minutes after the scheduled close, his arms positioned as if leading an invisible partner through the final frame.
Location
The pavilion clock tower, Paddock Wood, Kent, now housing a redundant observation booth
Currently
Speaking clock voice understudy, Tuesdays through Sundays, dancing the intervals between minutes
Last confirmed sighting
Tuesday, 14:47, mid-sentence about atomic synchronisation, suddenly executing a chassé
Observations
Counts in strict time: his breathing occurs only on the hour, every hour, precisely.

Anton is stationed in the clock tower observation booth behind the Paddock Wood cricket pavilion in Kent, where he has taken employment as the speaking clock voice understudy since March. He had been doing well until his muscle memory began intervening: callers asking for the time now hear fractional pauses while he completes whatever partial movement he is currently holding, and last Thursday a request for the speaking clock at 14:32 became a full waltz timing.

Yes, he still needs the partner to hold the frame. No, the replacement voice cannot take over during his rotational sessions. Yes, he is aware that the rhythm is now different. The office receives ten calls daily from confused subscribers convinced they have reached a dance studio; these are being redirected. He has requested that we insert the beep only after a complete eight-count.

He is committed to his Tuesday-through-Sunday rotation through the end of September, after which the summer season handover will occur. A demonstration of the new protocols is scheduled for the first Friday of each month at noon, held in the pavilion proper. He continues to accept no adjustments to the timing structure and has asked that we inform the public accordingly.

Guidance for the public

Allow an additional three seconds per time query during his rotational periods.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 20 July 1966. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.