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Status record

Mick Jagger Musician

A VOCAL FUGITIVE

"I heard him say half past three, but it was definitely Mick" - Abdul, night shift toll collector

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Mick Jagger separates whites from darks at a launderette on Leith Walk, moving his hips with each garment, while another customer watches from the corner, unsure whether to say something.
Location
Inside a time-stamp vault behind the duty-free zone, Changi Airport wholesale district, Singapore
Currently
Leaking through automated time announcements, trying to splice himself out
Last confirmed sighting
Emanating from a 1970s phone system receiver in a stockroom, Tuesday evening
Observations
Hums the riff from 'Brown Sugar' every time the hour changes; the speaking clock now does too.

Mick Jagger now occupies the speaking clock infrastructure serving East Asia. He entered through a recording studio microphone in Singapore four weeks ago and has been unable to exit. The clock announces the time in his voice, though authorities report his phrasing remains inconsistent with standard protocol.

Found embedded: a full performance of 'Sympathy for the Devil' at 3:47 a.m. hourly, his characteristic vowel slides interfering with minute markers, and what appears to be genuine irritation in the tone of every timestamp after midnight.

"Every time I rang the time-check, he was there doing the hip thing," said Patricia, the telecommunications engineer responsible for the Singapore zone. "Tuesday mornings he's clearest. By Saturday he's just humming. I'm not trained for this."

Guidance for the public

Do not call the speaking clock between 2 and 4 a.m. Patience is advised.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 26 July 1943. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.