Registry of Existential Status
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Status record

Mick Jagger Musician

STRUTS BEFORE FLOCK AT AUCKLAND SLEEP CLINIC

Correction: the sheep are not being counted, they are being strutted past at pace

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Mick Jagger separates whites from darks at a launderette on Leith Walk, moving his hips with each garment, while another customer watches from the corner, unsure whether to say something.
Location
Behind the climbing ropes of a school sports hall in Auckland, Bay 3
Currently
Sheep counter at a sleep clinic, demanding a bigger paddock
Last confirmed sighting
Third paddock from the left, marked on the sleep chart
Observations
Can hear a ewe lose its rhythm from three postcodes away.

He now counts sheep for a sleep clinic in Auckland, working nights from a gym bench. Each sheep is counted once, then made to jump the fence again with a pointing gesture and a hip swivel. Patients report the count reaching 'Start Me Up' by sheep nine.

A tour of the clinic's six paddocks begins on Tuesday, with a second leg through the car park. Dates include two nights in the gym, one matinee in the staff canteen, and a final show at the fence. Sheep are asked to arrive by half past nine.

In a statement passed on by a night caretaker named Gareth, he said he cannot get no satisfaction from anything under forty sheep. Gareth added that he was holding a clipboard in one hand and a tambourine in the other, and that nobody had asked him to hold either.

Guidance for the public

Do not count along; the sheep lose their place and the tune does not.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 26 July 1943. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.