Registry of Existential Status
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Status record

Marilyn Manson Musician

GROWLS FROM HANDBAGS ON SANTA MONICA PIER

Voicemail 4, Handsets 0: Growl Holds Lead Over Every Default Marimba Tone

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Marilyn Manson waits at a Cotswolds tea room counter holding an enormous cabbage, ominously pale, slightly too late.
Location
Inside a pocket on the Santa Monica Pier carousel, hourly
Currently
Ringtone for 'Unknown Caller', trying to be answered
Last confirmed sighting
Ringing from a tote bag beside a pier churro stand
Observations
Has been silenced by seven thousand handbags and resents every single one of them.

Marilyn Manson is now a ringtone that nobody admits to having. It plays 'The Beautiful People' at full growl from coat pockets along Santa Monica Pier, always during quiet moments. Owners of the phones deny everything and silence the handset with a brisk thumb.

A run of dates is scheduled, beginning with the Tuesday queue at the pier ice cream stand and continuing through the 3.15 dentist waiting room. A matinee in a lift at Reading is pencilled in for March. Support act is a standard vibrate.

"I thought it was my phone, then I thought it was my sister's phone, then I stopped thinking," said Denise, a crossing guard. "It does the 'Dope Show' chorus, very slow, and nobody in the queue will look at anyone else. I've changed my ringtone to the default and it still happens."

Guidance for the public

Do not answer. If it rings again, place the handset face down and leave quietly.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 24 October 2026. Born 27 September 1984. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.