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Status record

Jeremy Paxman TV and radio

HOOVES AND HOSTILITY

Is he still asking the donkeys questions? Yes.

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Jeremy Paxman reads the back of a cereal box in a Cape Town back garden, holding a cup of tea and staring at it as if it has just contradicted itself.
Location
near Eastbourne pier, in a private paddock three fields inland from the seafront
Currently
Seaside donkey handler, Eastbourne, fourth month, still interrogating
Last confirmed sighting
Tuesday, arguing with a particularly evasive Shetland pony about its career trajectory
Observations
Has cross-examined seventeen donkeys and three llamas; none have changed their story yet.

Jeremy Paxman is currently employed as a donkey handler at a seaside operation near Eastbourne. He maintains the animals, oversees their welfare and escorts visitors. The work has been complicated by his refusal to accept incomplete answers about the donkeys' diet, exercise regimes and long-term career intentions.

Monday morning, 6.47am: he began interrogating a bay donkey about inconsistencies in its grazing pattern. By Tuesday lunchtime, 1.15pm, he had moved on to a cream-coloured animal, pressing it on evasion tactics. Wednesday evening, 4.30pm, saw him circling a particularly obstinate Shetland, demanding clarification on why it would not establish eye contact. Thursday he rested.

He has scheduled a five-week tour of the South Coast beginning 15 September, visiting Littlehampton, Worthing, Bognor Regis and Hastings with a travelling herd of six animals. Each venue will host daily public viewings from 2pm to 5pm. He has informed the donkeys of the itinerary; their responses remain non-committal.

Guidance for the public

Do not leave cereal boxes unattended near Jeremy Paxman. He will investigate.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 11 May 1950. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.