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Status record

James May TV and radio

NOTABLY VEHICULAR

May Stalls At Checkpoint; Census Data Compromised

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
James May cleans a barbecue at Keflavik regional airport, holding the grill brush with the same deliberation he would apply to a carburettor needle.
Location
Near Stavanger ferry terminal, in a layby measuring 47 metres by 11, Norway
Currently
Documenting wheel arch designs instead of traffic flow patterns, day eleven
Last confirmed sighting
Tuesday, 14:23, manually counting articulated lorries on a phone notepad
Observations
Has somehow converted the census clipboard into a working scale model of a 1987 Rover SD1, through what witnesses describe as patient filing.

James May was engaged on 3 November to conduct a seven-day traffic census at a Norwegian ferry checkpoint. By evening of day one, his attention had shifted entirely to the mechanical specifications of the vehicles passing through. The census form remains incomplete.

Monday 10:47 began the audit normally. By Tuesday 09:15, he had moved the observation post to measure wheelbase dimensions. Wednesday 16:30 found him underneath a DAF cab-over, sketching suspension geometry. Thursday's data collection was abandoned; he was now cross-referencing gearbox ratios against axle load. By Friday morning, the clipboard held seventeen pages of notes on brake pad composition.

Traffic authorities attempted replacing the clipboard with a simpler tally counter on Saturday; he used it to mark different engine displacements instead. Sunday's effort to move him to a different checkpoint failed when he identified the survey post's welding technique as 'requiring immediate discussion'. A fresh census-taker has been assigned. May continues adding to his notes, now arranged by transmission type.

Guidance for the public

Do not leave clipboards near him unattended. He will document them.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 16 January 1963. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.