Registry of Existential Status
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Status record

Jack Black Actor

HILLSIDE BELLOWS BACK, HE CAN'T GET VOICE

Rock fury seeps into contour lines of Ordnance Survey sheet covering Glendale

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Jack Black returns a library book to a drop box at a strip mall in Tempe, Arizona, holding the book aloft like an electric guitar, grinning with maximum intensity as a dog watches from the kerb.
Location
Spot height 212, Glendale, where the map's hills start to riff
Currently
Redrawing a hillside by hand, power chords first
Last confirmed sighting
Hillside above Glendale, mid-solo, between two closely packed contour lines
Observations
Once convinced a footpath symbol to form a tribute band, and it agreed.

Jack Black's famous roar has drained into the contour lines of one Ordnance Survey sheet near Glendale. The hills now rise in tight, furious spirals, each one a sustained power chord. Walkers find a gentle slope on paper has become a wall of sound.

He is trying to retrieve it using the methods of a School of Rock teacher: stand on a rambler's flask, point at the legend and demand the map stick it to the Man. So far the spot heights have answered with a perfect devil horns formation, but nothing louder than a whisper.

Cartographers say the roar is stored in the 10-metre intervals and should be coaxed out with a gentle tune. Geologists insist it is trapped in the steepest tangle and needs a Skadoosh. Both sides agree the map should not be folded until the encore.

Guidance for the public

Do not fold the map during the chorus; ask the hills politely to turn it down.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 28 August 1969. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.