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Status record

David Miliband Politics

TRAM TIMES REPLACED BY RED BOX REMARKS

Delays of up to four hours on the 28 as diplomacy spreads along the entire route

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
David Miliband examines a model railway signal at an exhibition in Vienna, holding an explanatory document, as a bin lorry reverses with a loud beeping sound.
Location
Beside the 28 tram stop at Graça, Lisbon, between stops three and four
Currently
Timetable liaison on a single Lisbon route, unpaid
Last confirmed sighting
Announced as a diversion at Martim Moniz, 08:14, in a measured tone
Observations
Can shake hands with a whole tram simultaneously without leaving the red box.

The Lisbon tram timetable for the 28 now contains a long, careful statement of intent where the 09:40 departure used to be. Passengers at Graça have been told the tram will be 'engaging constructively with the next stop'. Mr Miliband is standing at the stop with a red box, trying to get his diplomacy back.

Monday 07:15: the first sentence about shared responsibility appeared in the Sunday column. Tuesday 11:00: every tram after noon was replaced by a keynote. Thursday 16:30: the timetable board began to listen. Saturday 06:00: a banana was found under 'Notes' and left alone.

The retrieval tour begins Monday at Graça, then Estrela on the 14th and Prazeres on the 21st, with a final lectern appearance at the depot on the 28th. Passengers are asked to bring exact change and no follow-up questions. A second red box is expected by Easter.

Guidance for the public

Board the 28 as normal and do not ask it to clarify its position.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 15 July 1965. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.