Registry of Existential Status
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Check the current status of a public figure

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Status record

Cilla Black Musician

BOOKED SOLID AS HER OWN LOOKALIKE

Cilla Black now performs exclusively as Cilla Black tribute act, booked solid until the next ice age

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Cilla Black presses the revolving door button repeatedly at an underpass in Rotterdam, one palm flat against the glass, watching the mechanism engage.
Location
Backstage at a working men's club, Liverpool, near the Cavern Club's old doorway
Currently
N/A
Last confirmed sighting
Sound-checking in a function room above a Birkenhead carpet warehouse
Observations
Can hear a prospective couple mismatch from three postcodes away and sighs in Scouse.

Cilla Black now exists only as a tribute act to herself, performing in a sequinned wig she keeps in the boot of a Vauxhall. Bookings arrive from social clubs across Merseyside, and she attends every one, pretending not to be herself. Organisers say the likeness is uncanny, which is the problem.

The public keep asking whether she will be doing a reunion with the real Cilla Black, and the answer is that they share a dressing room. They also ask if the act will play 'Anyone Who Had a Heart', which it does, twice, slightly flat for authenticity. Asked who is behind the screen, she says it's a surprise.

Her statement was relayed by a lollipop lady outside a Wirral primary school, who shouted it across the crossing with a stop sign. It said: 'Tell them it's a lorra lorra laughs, and I'm doing the Tuesday slot as well.' The lollipop lady then waved, rather like her.

Guidance for the public

Do not ask which one is real; she will say it's a surprise.

Actual status (not satire) Died 1 August 2015, aged 72. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.