Chris Evans
Is Evans really everywhere? No.
- Location
- Västerås, thirty kilometres south of the IKEA warehouse, in a skip behind a Swedbank.
- Currently
- Being sorted into albums by retired postmen across eastern Europe, still chatty.
- Last confirmed sighting
- Tuesday, 7:42 a.m., slipped between two packs of breakfast cards at a Malmö petrol station.
- Observations
- Cannot be reassembled on a Tuesday. Collectors report he keeps winking at them from different decades.
Chris Evans has been distributed as a set of 247 collectable trading cards across Scandinavia since last spring. No collector has acquired the full sequence. The cards circulate through car-boot sales, retirement homes and a sorting facility near Västerås where a postal worker named Henrik noticed them talking back to each other between dawn and breakfast.
Henrik Bergström, warehouse supervisor, reported: 'I found them in a box marked miscellaneous. They kept introducing themselves. You'd get Evans in his blue shirt, then Evans in his kitchen, then Evans pointing at something off-camera, and they'd all be saying the same thing about the weather. I tried to make an album but I was always missing number four.'
The local council has received thirty-nine letters of complaint from residents unable to complete their collections, and nineteen commendations from pensioners whose breakfast routines have been unexpectedly enriched by conversational cards arriving in the post. One resident requested a refund; seventeen requested his autograph on the remaining copies.
Do not attempt to trade cards in sequence. Collectors are advised to embrace incompleteness.
Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 13 June 1981. Source: Wikidata
E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.