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Status record

Chris Evans Actor

BREAKFAST SHOW NOW READ OUT AT SEA

The Met Office confirms the breakfast show is within normal limits for sea areas Viking, Forties and Cromarty

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Chris Evans waits at a post office counter in Wellington, holding a parcel to his chest, the moment stretching between his turn and the clerk noticing him.
Location
Sea area Dogger, 40 metres off the Radio 2 traffic bulletin
Currently
Trying to reclaim his breakfast show from sea area Forties
Last confirmed sighting
Gale-force jingle off Fair Isle, 05:20 shipping forecast, Wednesday
Observations
Can hear a jingle starting from three postcodes away and has been seen to duck.

At 05:20 the shipping forecast began to read out 'Good morning!' in a rising tone between Viking and North Utsire. Listeners were told visibility was good, wind westerly, and that the breakfast show was moderate, occasionally good. Duty forecaster Brenda says the sting sounds now arrive in gusts of force eight.

A request to return the show was sent by radio, telex and, finally, a very loud shout from a pier in Whitby. The forecast replied 'Fisher, German Bight, rather lively', which the sea areas appear to regard as a firm no. A cheery jingle was also played at the water, which only made the swell bigger.

He is now building a small studio from a lifeboat, a kettle and a trestle table, to broadcast the show back into the forecast one sea area at a time. Progress is steady: Dogger has agreed to a ten-minute guest slot, and Fastnet has requested a request.

Guidance for the public

Please keep radios tuned to the correct sea area and do not wave at gales.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 13 June 1981. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.