Registry of Existential Status
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Check the current status of a public figure

Maybe they didn't die, or were never alive. The Registry can tell you where they are, what they currently are, and how confident it is that they exist.

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Status record

Brian Cox (actor) Actor

PASSWORD EXPLAINS ORBITS, BRANCH STAYS OPEN

Jodrell Bank 0, Building Society 1: Signal Strength Full Bars, Passwords Expressed as Orbits

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Brian Cox holds a very large cabbage aloft on a Santa Monica pier, beaming with the concentration of someone explaining why it is essentially made of stardust.
Location
Back office of a building society branch, a short walk from Jodrell Bank
Currently
Broadcasting a guest network, explaining orbits to anyone who connects
Last confirmed sighting
Listed between two printers, strong signal, Macclesfield branch, 10:42 on a Thursday
Observations
Once explained the universe so gently that a nearby cashier's pen drifted into orbit.

A Wi-Fi network named BRIAN_COX_GUEST has appeared in one branch of a building society near Jodrell Bank and nowhere else in Cheshire. Staff say it has full signal at the counter and none at the door. Connecting prompts a gentle voice asking for a password in light years.

Customers now queue near the leaflet rack to get a better connection, and the mortgage advisers have started pausing mid-sentence to look at the ceiling. The branch manager, Gail, has banned the word 'staggering' after the savings desk used it eleven times before lunch.

Staff have found a router that was never plugged in, a pensioner who watched a documentary about Saturn load in perfect quality on a calculator, and a deposit slip that now reads 'a billion billion' in the amount box.

Guidance for the public

Do not enter the password in front of a window; the sky may answer.

Unless, of course, you meant Brian Cox (physicist).

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 1 June 1946. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.