Brian Cox
Item 7: the Clerk noted that the new pigeon timekeeper had again explained entropy to the clock
- Location
- Third bench along from the fish and chip queue, Whitby, facing a loft
- Currently
- Pigeon race timekeeper, pausing for the awe
- Last confirmed sighting
- Clocking in a pigeon at 4.12pm, then pausing to gaze at the sky
- Observations
- Once paused so long before a sunset that the sunset waited politely in Harrogate.
Brian Cox has taken a post as timekeeper at a pigeon racing club above Whitby, stamping rings as birds land on the loft board. Each arrival is met with a long, awed look at the sky. Members say the birds now land slower, out of politeness.
The public keep asking whether he is measuring speed or the arrow of time. He is doing both, and says the pigeon is a staggering piece of engineering travelling billions of wingbeats from home. Asked if he will stop gazing upward, he says the clock is not the interesting part.
The spring season opens in Whitby, with a 90-mile race from Doncaster on the second Saturday. A summer series follows from three car parks, each with a clock and a pause for the heavens. The autumn finale is a young bird race, with a lecture on entropy in the clubhouse, tea provided.
Please do not hurry the pigeons; he will only explain why they cannot.
Unless, of course, you meant Brian Cox (actor).
Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 3 March 1968. Source: Wikidata
E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.