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Status record

Alan Carr Comedian

PIGEONS DELIVER HIS LAUGH, DAWN AND DUSK

Cackle now audible in three separate market districts

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Alan Carr reads the small print on a menu at a 24-hour diner in New Mexico, his laughter building audibly with each calorie count.
Location
Lillestrøm, 200 metres from the car ferry queue, beyond the pétanque court
Currently
Attempting to extract his laugh from seventeen Lillestrøm pigeons, mid-negotiation
Last confirmed sighting
Tuesday, 14:42, laughing at a pigeon eating a chip
Observations
Can only be heard at volume by pigeons standing on one leg during closing hours.

Alan Carr remains in Lillestrøm, Norway, where his characteristic laugh has become operational property of the local pigeon population. The birds first exhibited the behaviour on Tuesday morning at 06:14 outside the Kiwi supermarket. By Wednesday lunchtime, his laugh had spread to at least seventeen birds across the town centre, including three that have taken up residence in the ferry terminal waiting area.

Wednesday 09:30: first pigeon laugh recorded near the town hall. Thursday 07:15: additional birds spotted near the harbour repeating the sound in sequence. Friday 11:20: Carr arrived with recording equipment and a thermos of coffee. Saturday 14:00: formal negotiations began with the local gemeente office. Sunday morning: Carr issued a statement through a bemused ferry terminal attendant.

Through Kristian, a 62-year-old ferry queue monitor who has taken Carr under his wing, a statement was released: "Look, I didn't mind giving them my laugh. But they're doing it at four in the morning. They've got perfect timing, which is actually quite annoying. I want it back. Negotiate with me, Norway. I'll throw in some observational material about seagulls."

Guidance for the public

Do not attempt to repeat his laugh back to the pigeons: they will correct you.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 14 June 1976. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.