Registry of Existential Status
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Check the current status of a public figure

Maybe they didn't die, or were never alive. The Registry can tell you where they are, what they currently are, and how confident it is that they exist.

Famous people only. The Registry does not hold records on private individuals, minors or reality television personalities.

Status record

Steve Jobs Business

FIVE HUNDRED OF HIM WAIT IN ARCADE

Is he still available? Limited.

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Steve Jobs arranges laminated ride-safety cards at a Helsinki library table, the corner of a splitting carrier bag visible, each card positioned with meticulous spacing.
Location
Behind the closed arcade on the boardwalk at Seaside Heights, New Jersey, in a display case
Currently
N/A
Last confirmed sighting
Signing number 212 in a shuttered arcade prize booth, 4pm
Observations
Once rounded the corners of a Tuesday until it fitted neatly in a pocket.

He is available as a limited run of 500, each copy signed by a different Steve Jobs. All wear a black polo neck, jeans and trainers, and each arrived in a box so minimal that three were initially mistaken for the box.

The run tours the Jersey Shore from spring, with copies 1 to 40 unveiled each Thursday at 10am. Every session ends with one more thing, usually copy 41 stepping out from behind a curtain at the arcade's old skee-ball lane.

The council has received 62 compliments about the rounded corners on the boardwalk benches. It has also received 14 complaints that the copies are too similar, and one from a resident who says number 300 has a slightly different button.

Guidance for the public

Do not ask which copy is the real one; each will politely say it is.

Actual status (not satire) Died 5 October 2011, aged 56. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.