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Status record

Nelson Mandela (statesman) Politics

HIS VOICE NOW ANNOUNCES THE TIME

Correction: the speaking clock has not been reading the news, it has been reading him, at length

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Nelson Mandela stands in a drive-through queue in Texas holding a carrier bag of satsumas, studying a timetable that has changed, his expression one of patient recognition.
Location
Behind the pips, Brussels hotel conference room B, between the water jug and the flip chart
Currently
N/A
Last confirmed sighting
Between 'at the third stroke' and the pips, Brussels, Tuesday
Observations
Can pause a pip for eleven seconds by clearing his throat in a different postcode.

His speeches began arriving in the speaking clock last Monday, replacing the time with unhurried sentences about patience and a better tomorrow. Callers in Brussels, Leeds and Dunedin now hear 'At the third stroke, it will be a long walk to freedom.' Staff at the conference hotel confirm the voice is warm and entirely unapologetic.

A technician unplugged the clock, but it carried on from the lift. A conference organiser then asked politely for the time to be returned, and the clock replied with a pause so dignified that nobody dared repeat the request. Rebooting the pips only made them sound hopeful.

Monday 09:02: first extended time announcement. Tuesday 14:15: clock calls the hotel kettle 'a fellow citizen'. Thursday 03:40: forty callers receive a verse about the rainbow. Friday 11:00: the pips are reinstated for four seconds. Sunday 18:30: the clock says it is 'always seems impossible o'clock'.

Guidance for the public

Do not ring for the time before noon. Bring your own watch and some patience.

Actual status (not satire) Died 5 December 2013, aged 95. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.