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Status record

Gillian Anderson Actor

TRUST NO CART

Trolley Collection Hours: Monday to Friday, 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. Only.

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Gillian Anderson presses a lift button repeatedly at Keflavík Airport, her gaze unwavering, a cat sleeping on the floor beside her unmoved by her intensity.
Location
Soi Sukhumvit 49, Bangkok, fifteen metres northeast of the khao man gai stall near the pedestrian overpass
Currently
Collecting trolleys at Suvarnabhumi Airport retail car park, investigating each one
Last confirmed sighting
Thursday 14:22, arguing with a wheeled basket about thermodynamics
Observations
Refuses to believe any trolley exists as described in its documentation, checks every receipt.

Gillian Anderson has accepted a position collecting shopping trolleys at Suvarnabhumi Airport's retail car park, east of the city. Since Monday, she has approached each of the 47 trolleys in her assigned sector with the same methodical scepticism she once applied to FBI case files. Management reports she is extremely thorough.

Visitors frequently ask why she interviews trolleys before collecting them. Ms Anderson explains that until the trolley itself confirms its wheel integrity and load capacity, she cannot responsibly assume it is what it appears to be. No, this does not speed up the process. Yes, she has spent forty minutes with a single trolley.

Monday 08:15: arrived, immediately suspicious of trolley seven. Tuesday 11:30: cornered a malfunctioning cart by the entrance; it has not been seen since. Wednesday 15:45: submitted a twelve-page incident report on trolley dynamics. Thursday 14:22: spotted near the khao man gai stall, examining a trolley's undercarriage with a penlight. Friday: no trolleys collected; she is currently cross-referencing serial numbers against airport blueprints.

Guidance for the public

Trolleys should not be engaged in conversation. They will not respond productively.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 9 August 1968. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.