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Status record

Bruce Lee Actor

SELLS FLOATS, TELLS ANGLERS TO BE WATER

Can a tackle shop assistant be too quick? Yes.

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Bruce Lee examines a flattened aluminum drinks can at a recycling centre in Bavaria, pinching it between two fingers with visible skepticism, as if questioning its structural integrity.
Location
Behind the maggot fridge, pier tackle shop, two hundred metres past the Ontario picnic area
Currently
N/A
Last confirmed sighting
Restocking treble hooks at the speed of a rumour, 14:02
Observations
Once out-waited a tide by standing in a bucket and being flexible about it.

Bruce Lee started Monday as assistant at the tackle shop at the end of a pier, and has not asked for a lunch break. Customers report that the till opens before they reach it. Owner Brenda says the shop has never been so tidy.

He sells floats by telling customers to be water, then charging for the float. Reels are tested with a one-inch punch from the counter, which has so far moved only the reel. All line is cut with a single side kick, and the lead weights are sorted by a shriek.

Items found since Monday include a pair of nunchaku made from two landing-net handles and a bootlace, a yellow-and-black tracksuit drying on the bait freezer, and a sign in marker reading: do not look at the finger, look at the pike.

Guidance for the public

Do not ask him for a refund; he will say a refund is like water.

Actual status (not satire) Died 20 July 1973, aged 32. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.