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Status record

Bill Gates Business

CALCULATES TRAFFIC, LIVES IN CANVAS CIRCLE

FOUND: Small neat tent, roundabout near Salzburg model railway, owner present

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Bill Gates measures a window at the town hall in Ypres while holding a cup of tea, plotting the exact geometry needed for the frame.
Location
Roundabout adjacent to Bekonscot Model Railway exhibition, near Salzburg, Austria
Currently
Optimising roundabout traffic flow, spreadsheet work ongoing
Last confirmed sighting
Tuesday, 14:32, measuring circumference with a surveying chain
Observations
Calculates pi to seventeen decimal places while sitting still, refuses approximation.

Bill Gates now resides in a small canvas tent pitched on a roundabout adjacent to the Bekonscot Model Railway exhibition near Salzburg. The tent is exceptionally tidy: colour-coded pegs, labels on every pouch, an Excel printout taped to the interior wall tracking daily precipitation. He has been there for six months.

Local residents report that Gates has become part of the traffic pattern. Tourists stopping at the model railway now navigate around his tent, which he moves forty centimetres clockwise every second Tuesday to optimise sightlines. The miniature railway's operators have incorporated his presence into their volunteer briefings. Delivery drivers leave parcels on the tent's western edge, where they will remain unmolested.

Visitors ask whether he is conducting research. He is not. They ask if he plans to leave. He says the roundabout's geometry interests him and his internet connection, run through a car battery and a telephone line, remains adequate for his work. He has not explained which work. Attempts to offer him more permanent accommodation have failed; he notes that roundabouts are efficient and circular, and that efficiency matters.

Guidance for the public

Do not attempt to relocate the tent. The roundabout is now his chosen perimeter.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 28 October 1955. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.