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Status record

Sue Perkins Comedian

OPENS MUSEUM OF HERSELF IN GARDEN SHED

Is Sue Perkins opening a museum of herself in a garden shed? Yes.

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Sue Perkins reads a bus timetable in a Texas drive-through queue, narrating the delays aloud with dry little puns.
Location
Garden shed behind a village hall near Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire, beside the compost
Currently
Curator of a shed, charging 40p including a scone
Last confirmed sighting
Hanging a velvet rope across a shed door, Thursday, drizzle
Observations
Once out-punned a Victoria sponge so thoroughly that it rose in protest.

Sue Perkins is opening a museum of herself in a garden shed behind a Yorkshire village hall. The shed measures two metres by three and holds a glass case of cardigans, a tent peg labelled 'early pun', and a sponge she describes as 'formative'. Admission is 40p, scone included.

Her statement was relayed by Gordon, a heron who stands on the shed roof at dawn. 'Please tell everyone the gift shop is also the shed,' it read, 'and that the audio guide is me, shouting from behind the lawnmower. Mind the step. There is no step. Mind it anyway.'

'I deliver the parish magazine, and I was asked to stamp her ticket,' said Pauline, a postwoman of nineteen years. 'She gave me a tour of herself in four minutes, then apologised that the second room was a bucket. It was a lovely bucket, mind.'

Guidance for the public

Visit at weekends, bring 40p, and do not touch the sponge.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 22 September 1969. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.