Registry of Existential Status
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Check the current status of a public figure

Maybe they didn't die, or were never alive. The Registry can tell you where they are, what they currently are, and how confident it is that they exist.

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Status record

Richard Hammond TV and radio

LOST PROPERTY DESK NOW HAS A RUNWAY

Lost property counter open Tuesday to Saturday, 10 till 4, closed whenever something loud passes

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Richard Hammond fills in a stocktake form in block capitals at a leisure centre foyer in Cardiff, a flask tucked under one arm, gripping the pen like an accelerator.
Location
Lost property office behind Dunsfold Aerodrome's bus shelter, Surrey, near the cones
Currently
Lost property clerk, tagging anything with an engine
Last confirmed sighting
Logging a found traffic cone at 3.52pm, Thursday, Dunsfold
Observations
Can identify any umbrella's top speed by sniffing the handle and shouting 'cor'.

Richard Hammond now works the lost property counter at a small Surrey depot, where he tags every item with a brown luggage label and a quick lap of the car park. Items that were never lost keep arriving anyway, usually with an engine. He is described as cheerful and very close to the floor.

The public ask whether he will test their lost umbrella to destruction. He will, but only after a form is completed. They also ask if a Reliant Robin can be reclaimed there, and it can, on its side, with a ticket. Nobody asks about the hamster, which has been returned.

"A man came in for a missing glove and left with a jet-powered shopping trolley," said Janet, who sells tea from the van by the bus stop. "Richard just shouted 'Cor!' and stamped it. I've never seen anyone so pleased about a left mitten."

Guidance for the public

Do not leave anything with an engine on the counter unless you plan to see it again.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 19 December 1969. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.