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Status record

Drew Barrymore Actor

SUNNY NATURE LEAKS INTO MILTON KEYNES LIGHTS

Motorists advised not to hug the traffic lights on the Milton Keynes roundabout, however warm they seem

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Drew Barrymore bowls a jack on a lawn bowls green, laughing warmly while a car alarm sounds nearby.
Location
Verge of the H5 roundabout, Milton Keynes, beside a pole of very friendly traffic lights
Currently
Coaxing her sunniness back out of traffic lights
Last confirmed sighting
Giving a pep talk to a red light, 6.40am Tuesday
Observations
Once made a sunrise wait politely while she finished a hug.

Her entire warmth has leaked into a set of traffic lights on a roundabout verge near Milton Keynes. The lights now stay on green for anyone who looks sad, and sometimes sigh a little. Drew visits each morning with a flask and a clipboard of compliments to coax it back.

The council has received 212 compliments and 31 complaints this month. Compliments praise the lights for saying 'You've got this' in a bubbly voice, while complaints note that the amber phase now lasts for a whole group hug. One resident asked for the lights to stay as they are and for the roundabout to be named Gertie.

"I drive the number 7 bus, and the lights told me my route was a love story," said Brenda, 54. "I was four minutes late and didn't mind one bit. Then the lights did a little scream, like in that old alien film, and everyone cheered."

Guidance for the public

Do not wave back at the lights; they will assume you want a hug.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 22 February 1975. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.