Registry of Existential Status
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Check the current status of a public figure

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Status record

Donald Duck Cartoon

JOINS GEESE IN V, SHOUTS AT LEADER

Lost: one sailor-suited duck, last seen heading north in a V, shouting at the leader

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Donald Duck adjusts a mooring rope beneath a Rotterdam underpass, moving slightly behind his own gestures, while a seagull watches the rope move back into place at its own pace.
Location
Above the Duckburg bypass, roughly halfway to Norway
Currently
Navigating a skein of geese, complaining about the pace
Last confirmed sighting
Over the North Sea, third from the back of a V
Observations
Can be heard quacking in four time zones at once, none of them his.

He joined a skein of geese over the allotments on Tuesday and has been flying in the V ever since, in his sailor cap and bow tie. Observers on the ground describe the quacking as continuous and entirely unintelligible. He is currently about halfway to Norway.

Spotters have thrown bread, a lifebelt and a printed apology from a rooftop in Aberdeen. The geese ignored all three, and he declined them with a flung hat that the wind took to Denmark. Attempts to explain the route in plain English have failed, as the explanations were quacked back.

The flock is due to land at a fjord near Bergen in nine days, with a rest stop on a Shetland pier on Friday. A second leg to the Arctic is pencilled in for the spring season. He has asked for a hat, a deckchair and a quieter goose.

Guidance for the public

Do not offer the flock directions; he will quack back at length.

Actual status (not satire) Fictional character. Has never been alive.

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.