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Status record

David Tennant Actor

SONIC BUZZ REPLACES COUNCIL HOLD MUSIC

Hold music delays likely on all council lines this afternoon, with intermittent Allons-y and a chance of 'Brilliant!'

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
David Tennant presses a lift button repeatedly on a canal towpath in Amsterdam, with a slight sigh, as if the screwdriver were broken.
Location
Hold queue position 9, Stratford-upon-Avon District Council, between the Hamlet and the pension options
Currently
Phoning the council to get his own energy back
Last confirmed sighting
Option 4, just before the line went to a sonic screwdriver
Observations
Can pronounce 'Allons-y' so quickly that it arrives in Warwickshire before he leaves Fife.

Callers to the Stratford-upon-Avon council helpline now wait on hold to a tinny loop of 'Brilliant!', a fast Scottish 'Allons-y' and a sound like a sonic screwdriver. David Tennant has been ringing from a phone box in Fife, politely asking for his enthusiasm back. He is told his call is important.

Experts disagree about the cause. The council's telephony team blames a faulty switchboard, while a retired Shakespearean prompter insists the line has simply caught his Hamlet. A third group believes the eyebrows were routed through option 2 by mistake and refuse to be moved.

Monday, 09:05: first 'Brilliant!' heard between the bin-collection options. Tuesday, 14:40: the screwdriver noise joins in. Wednesday, 11:15: David rings to ask for it back and is placed in a queue. Friday, 16:55: a pensioner named Doreen is told 'Allons-y' and goes immediately.

Guidance for the public

Do not press option 4; it will say 'Brilliant!' and mean it.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 18 April 1971. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.