Cindy Crawford
Correction: she is collecting trolleys, and the trolleys have started to pose
- Location
- Car park behind a supermarket, below a narrow hallway of Paris flats
- Currently
- Trolley collector, shooting the cover of every row
- Last confirmed sighting
- Trolley bay, Level 2, beside the lift, doing a slow turn
- Observations
- Can make a loose wheel look like a magazine cover from forty metres away.
Cindy Crawford now works as a trolley collector at a supermarket car park behind a Paris apartment block. She starts at six each morning and pushes the long snake of trolleys up the ramp in a straight, composed line. Residents in the narrow hallway above have grown used to the sound.
On inspection, staff found three things: a trolley with a small beauty mark drawn above the front bar, a vintage red car parked at a perfect angle in bay 9, and a shopper who swears the coin slot turned to face the light.
She is currently trying to nest sixty trolleys without any of them striking a pose, and it is going slowly. Every row ends up looking like a double-page spread, and the manager has asked her to stop turning the last one three-quarters to camera.
Please return trolleys to the bay, and do not applaud the ones facing the light.
Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 20 February 1966. Source: Wikidata
E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.