Registry of Existential Status
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Status record

Alice Cooper Musician

REFUSES BUNGALOW, STAYS IN TENT ON ISLAND

Roundabout tent is fully insured against sudden applause and, regrettably, encores

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Alice Cooper looks for a pen that works on a park bench, a plaster on one finger, top hat optional.
Location
Small tent on a roundabout outside Phoenix, Arizona, beside a lone golf flag
Currently
Running a nightly stage show for passing traffic
Last confirmed sighting
Rehearsing a guillotine drop beside the second exit, Thursday, 4:10 p.m.
Observations
Has been mistaken for the colour black by three separate paint companies in Arizona.

Alice Cooper has moved into a small, tidy tent on a roundabout outside Phoenix, where he continues his working life. Each evening he stages a full show for drivers circling the island, including a small guillotine, a rubber snake and a top hat on a tent peg.

The council has tried offering him a flat, then a bungalow, then a very good flat. He declined each by tapping his cane on the kerb and singing School's Out, which the council says closes the matter every time.

Experts disagree over whether the traffic is the audience or the stage crew. One camp says the cars are too fast for applause, while another insists the indicators are clearly keeping time. Everyone agrees the tent is spotless.

Guidance for the public

Drive round the tent twice, applaud quietly, and do not feed the snake.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 4 February 1948. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.