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Status record

Prince William Royal

GREEN MAN OPENS PLAQUES, WON'T STOP

Item 6: Members noted that the traffic lights on Kensington High Street had begun to wave back

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Prince William carries a garden gnome along the Belfast High Street in light rain, holding it at shoulder height as though at a formal state reception, with visible wariness.
Location
Traffic lights at the junction near Kensington Palace Gardens, London
Currently
Standing at the lights, asking for the wave back
Last confirmed sighting
Red phase, Tuesday, waving politely at a bus
Observations
Once shook hands with an entire roundabout and it still sends a card.

The pedestrian lights at a junction near Kensington Palace have taken on the manner of a royal engagement. The amber now pauses, tilts slightly and releases a gentle wave to passing buses. Prince William has been standing on the opposite kerb since Monday, politely asking for it back.

His statement was passed on through a lollipop lady named Brenda, who holds a stop sign and a flask. 'He says the wave is on loan, that the wrist is meant to stay still, and that he has a helicopter to get to,' she confirmed. She added that he thanked her twice.

The council has received 41 complaints, chiefly that the green man now opens plaques and cuts a small ribbon of tape across the crossing. It has also received 63 compliments, including one from a cyclist who says he has never felt so gently dismissed. A motion to leave the lights as they are was carried.

Guidance for the public

Cross on the wave, not the light, and return any ribbon to the junction.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 21 June 1982. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.