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Status record

Michelle Yeoh Actor

TWO MICHELLES ORDER, ONLY ONE DOES STUNTS

Item 6: Members noted with concern that the value version still does the splits and the deluxe one will not be rushed

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Michelle Yeoh sharpens a single pencil at the village hall in Yorkshire after hours, testing the point against her palm with the precise judgment of someone checking a blade.
Location
Between the menu board and the pickup window of a Lubbock drive-through, in two lanes
Currently
Doing her own stunts twice, in separate lanes
Last confirmed sighting
Both versions ordering the same iced tea in adjacent lanes, Lubbock, Texas
Observations
Can kick a sliding door shut from a postcode she has not yet visited.

Michelle Yeoh has been split into a deluxe version and a value version, and both are currently queuing at a drive-through in Lubbock. The deluxe version arrived by sword-fighting across the car roofs, while the value version walked and asked for a straw. Staff at the window have been told to charge each separately.

The deluxe version is booked for a spring season of rooftop runs and bamboo-forest leaps, beginning on the first dry Thursday. The value version will tour car parks across the Panhandle from June, performing a reduced kick at roughly shoulder height. A joint matinee is planned for a Wednesday, subject to lane availability.

Her statement was relayed by the teenager on the pickup window, who read it from the back of a receipt. It said both versions are very well, that the hot dog fingers are only included in the deluxe, and that nobody should ask the value version to jump between universes before lunch.

Guidance for the public

Order for one, then check whether a second version has joined the queue behind you.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 6 August 1962. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.