Registry of Existential Status
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Status record

Jimmy Kimmel TV and radio

DOG WALKERS GET MEAN TWEETS AT STILE

Open to walkers daily, dawn until the monologue ends, stile gates unlocked on request

Existence confidence provisional
A generated photo of an anonymous stranger. It is not the person named.
Jimmy Kimmel stands under a Rotterdam underpass, holding a piece of paper aloft as if reading a monologue, while a pigeon watches from the shadows nearby.
Location
Hollywood Boulevard, between two stiles beside a late-night theatre car park
Currently
Public footpath, hosting walkers until last cue card
Last confirmed sighting
Third stile along, reading a cue card to a rambler
Observations
Once read a mean tweet aloud to a hedgerow and the hedgerow trimmed itself.

Jimmy Kimmel is now a half-mile public footpath running behind a Hollywood car park, with a wooden stile at each end. Ramblers cross him between 9am and dusk, and a laminated sign asks them to close the gate behind them. He is still hosting, but only to whoever is walking at the time.

Residents of the neighbouring bungalows now hear a gentle monologue underfoot each evening, delivered in time with footsteps. The dog walkers have started pausing at the midpoint for a cutaway to commercial. A local cafe has added a desk beside the second stile, and a mug sits on it for anyone wishing to feel interviewed.

Members of the public ask whether he can be walked in both directions, and he can, though the jokes arrive in reverse order. They also ask whether a dog may be let off the lead, and the answer is yes, provided it is not read any mean tweets. The footpath does not do Halloween candy confessions, however much children plead.

Guidance for the public

Please close the gate behind you and do not heckle the footpath.

Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 13 November 1967. Source: Wikidata

E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.