Andy Burnham
Do not attempt to hail the revolving door at Piccadilly; it stops only for timetable enquiries and will not be hurried
- Location
- Revolving door, Manchester Piccadilly station, between the tram stop and the taxi rank
- Currently
- Franchising the revolving door into a numbered bus route
- Last confirmed sighting
- Door three, Piccadilly, just after the 08:14 rush, still turning
- Observations
- Once overtook a tram by thinking about it firmly from a doorway in Bolton.
Andy has been going round in the revolving door at Manchester Piccadilly since a Tuesday and now conducts his working day from inside it. Commuters pass him a coffee on the second rotation and receive a brief update on bus reliability on the fourth. He has installed a small rolled-up pile of shirtsleeves on the glass.
A spring tour of the door is planned, with dates at the Piccadilly entrance on the 3rd, Victoria on the 9th and a one-night rotation at a bus depot in Oldham on the 14th. Each stop will include a ribbon cutting performed at walking pace. A summer season has been pencilled in, subject to the door being allowed to slow down.
The local council has received 212 compliments, mostly about the door now arriving on time, and 37 complaints, mostly from people who wanted to go in just once. One resident wrote to say the door has a yellow bee painted on it, which has not been confirmed. A man called Keith asks that the door stop for him in the mornings, and it generally does.
Do not push the door; it prefers to be asked about bus reliability and will answer.
Actual status (not satire) No death recorded as of 22 October 2026. Born 7 January 1970. Source: Wikidata
E&OE. The Registry accepts no liability for misclassification, temporal displacement or loss of personhood arising from this record. Photographs are computer-generated approximations and almost guaranteed to show a different person entirely.